Breaking...

So I'm at my breaking point today...so this may be the last thing I post.. (some blog right?) But..I don't think I can keep going on...right now the only thoughts in my head are I wish I had a gun because hanging myself will still give me a painful death. I use to be strong..I use to be able to avoid these thoughts but.. I can't anymore. My time is at an end I believe and well...at least it's happening now while im still young. Most people think it the other way as your young you still have your whole life ahead of you...but I'm thinking about it now as in I'm young..I haven't accomplished much so now is the time to die if I really want to, right? I just can't take hurting anymore...I've been able to keep strong for so long but sometimes you get tired of holding on and you just let go of the weight of the world and have it crash down on you. Hopefully this issue of depression gets more attention and things start getting better for people. So is this really "selfish" if I have other people in mind? Thinking this may help others in some way..I mean when my friend Jesse hung himself,  people changed..it didn't last long..but maybe a second time will open their eyes more. If you don't know how to help other dealing with depression look up TWLOHA. But..this is the end of my post..so..goodbye..